By Divorce is a challenging life transition that can significantly impact both work and personal life. With approximately 2 million marriages occurring annually in the US, and 40 to 50% of them ending in divorce, according to the National Center of Health Statistics, many individuals find themselves struggling to cope with the aftermath. Research in the Journal of Traumatic Stress suggests that divorce and marital separation can lead to traumatic experiences and defense mechanisms that affect future relationships. Moreover, Psychology Today reports increased stress, lower life satisfaction, and depression among divorcees. However, despite the difficulties, there are strategies to regain control and prevent burnout during this challenging time.
Establish Boundaries for Divorce Discussions
Kelly Frawley and Emily Pollock, partners at Kasowitz Benson Torres LLP, advise scheduling specific times during the day to address divorce-related matters. Constantly checking emails for updates can decrease productivity and increase stress. Setting aside dedicated hours for discussions allows individuals to maintain focus at work and prevent burnout by creating boundaries between personal and professional life.
Create a Separate Email Address for Divorce Correspondence
Managing divorce paperwork, inquiries from attorneys, and financial statements can clutter personal and work email accounts. Frawley and Pollock recommend creating a separate email address exclusively for divorce-related communication. This approach helps keep important documents organized and prevents essential messages from getting lost amidst other emails.
Maintain a Legal Focus in Communications with Your Attorney
While it may be tempting to vent frustrations about the divorce to your lawyer, Frawley advises against it. Divorce attorneys bill for their time, and lengthy discussions unrelated to legal matters can result in higher fees. Instead, maintain a legal focus in communications with your attorney and reserve venting for friends, family, or therapists.
Keep a Detailed Log of Conversations with Your Lawyer
To avoid redundant discussions and unnecessary fees, Frawley and Pollock recommend creating a detailed log of topics discussed with your lawyer. Emotionally charged conversations can make it difficult to remember all the details. Requesting your lawyer to maintain a log of past discussions can also help ensure clarity and prevent misunderstandings.
Consider Informing Your Boss About Your Situation
While disclosing personal matters to your employer is a personal decision, it may be beneficial in certain situations. If you anticipate needing time off for divorce-related issues, consider having a frank conversation with your manager. This transparency allows for better understanding and support during challenging times.
Build a Strong Support Network Outside of Work
Managing a divorce alongside work responsibilities can be overwhelming. It’s essential to have a supportive network of friends and family who can offer emotional support and understanding. Building a strong support system outside of work provides individuals with a safe space to express their feelings and navigate the complexities of divorce.
In conclusion, navigating work and personal life during a divorce requires intentionality, boundaries, and support. By implementing these strategies, individuals can regain control, prevent burnout, and navigate this challenging life transition with resilience and strength.
